Anyone who has been through a divorce knows how traumatic it can be. It might take a while for you to even want to get back into the dating world. It’s best to take some time for yourself to heal and recover, but when you decide the time is right for you, dating again might seem intimidating. It’s something everyone goes through following a marriage’s end. Here are some things to keep in mind to make dating after a divorce easier for you:
- Be yourself. You don’t want to start dating someone who doesn’t like you for who you are. You’ve spent some time alone now, and hopefully you’re comfortable with who you are. If not, wait until you truly like yourself before you start dating after a divorce.
- Don’t be afraid of online dating. So many people tend to wonder whether online dating is safe, but it’s actually the norm. A lot of people face the same problem when dating after a divorce: where to meet someone new? Online dating is safe and it’s easy. If you’re still not comfortable, you can move at your own pace. Talk to your matches until you’re comfortable meeting them in person. Seriously, there’s no stigma there anymore. Weirdos are everywhere, and so are great people. Online dating just makes it easier to screen the weirdos out.
- Take gradual steps. Start with chatting with a person, then head out for coffee. As we’ve said before, coffee dates are great to start. You aren’t committed to a long period of time, and you’re not breaking the bank by going on a date with someone you’re not sure you like. From there, you can decide if you want to go out to dinner with the person. You’ll look forward to a real date with someone you already know you have chemistry with!
- Enjoy the date for what it is. If you agree to have dinner with someone, remember that it’s just dinner. You don’t have to commit to this person for longer than that. Don’t worry about whether there’s chemistry or if you’ll spend the rest of your life with them. Enjoy it as a night out, getting to know someone new, and maybe eating some delicious food.
- Remember that the new person you’re dating is not your ex. You may be trying to proactively circumvent problems from your marriage in this new relationship, but keep in mind that this person’s different. If your ex cheated on you, that doesn’t mean your new partner will. Becoming paranoid and jealous is a guaranteed method to drive your new partner away. If your ex had issues communicating about what was bothering him, that doesn’t mean you should constantly check in with your new partner. It’s good to learn lessons from why your marriage didn’t work, but don’t be overbearing in your new relationship. That can cause a whole new batch of issues.