If you’re single, you’ve probably heard every piece of dating advice imaginable. It seems everyone is an expert, and they’re all just dying to share their wisdom with you in order to rescue from being single. The problem is that, since everyone thinks they know best, a lot of bad dating advice actually gets passed around. Don’t listen to someone’s dating advice just because they’re married or in a relationship. In reality, there’s some dating advice that’s just plain bad. Here are a few examples, so you can know what to ignore:
- Don’t get your hopes up. One piece of dating advice that everyone always offers is not to get too excited. The logic here is that you only know the basics about a person before going on a first date, so don’t project all your hopes and dreams onto this person. But the truth is, that actually puts you into a negative mindset for a date. Negativity is one of the worst things for you when it comes to dating! So, get your hopes up. It’s better to be positive and motivated than to be negative. Besides, positive thoughts become positive actions.
- Google your date first, so you’re not blindsided. It might seem like researching your date is the responsible thing to do. After all, you just don’t want to be shocked when you meet them! But the truth is that you’re taking away some of dating’s magic when you do this. Part of the joy of dating new people comes from these little discoveries — do you really want to rob yourself of that? It’s the same type of behavior that grows into snooping through a partner’s phone once you enter a relationship. Either you have to work on your ability to trust, or you’re already distrusting your date. Whichever the case may be, it’s a problem. So, don’t do the research on your laptop. Research your date by asking them questions, either on your date or on a dating app.
- Just join ALL of the dating apps! The logic behind this dating advice is likely that, by spreading your digital presence on multiple platforms, you’re increasing your chances of finding what you’re looking for. And, while we can’t fault that logic, is just not how it works. There are many different dating sites, and they’re usually pretty clear about what they’re for. If you’re looking for a committed, long-term relationship, you’re only going to find disappointment by using a dating app that’s for casual encounters. Instead of joining them all, know what you’re looking for, and find the dating app that’s best for your interests.
- Play hard to get. For some reason, this piece of dating advice seems to come most often from those who are not single. Single people know too well that playing games is NEVER a good idea when it comes to dating! If you value honesty, you need to live honestly in order to attract an honest person. Be direct, and be yourself. You’re likely to turn someone off instead of seeming mysterious and aloof if you play hard to get.
- You’ll know everything you need to know on the first date. Um, no. Dating advice like this ignores the fact that, sometimes, you won’t feel a spark until the 5th date with someone. But, if you’re enjoying their company and having a good time, why not give someone more of a chance than just one date? Not having the magic chemistry you expected isn’t a good enough reason to give up on something so quickly. Give them another chance!
- You shouldn’t be so picky. Well, excuse us for having standards! When you know what you want, you should go after it. As we get older and as we date more, we learn more about what we like and what we can’t tolerate. This is actually helpful when you’re trying to find the right person (like the woman who hacked online dating). As long as you’re not ignoring people who don’t have every quality you want, you’re not being too picky.