Anyone who has ever been through a break-up knows that one of the hardest things in the world can be to get over an ex. You know the relationship is over, yet you just can’t shake it. Every time you think you’re doing better, finally moving on, something happens to undo all the progress you’ve made. If this sounds like you, here are some things you can do to get over your ex fast:
- Identify your anchors. Anchors are what keep us tied to our exes. Like shaking a bad habit, there are things we don’t realize trigger us until we try to quit. With an ex, it could be something as simple as hearing a song you’d bonded over or a place the two of you often went. These anchors make you associate them with your ex, reminding you of them, causing you pain. And they make it harder for you to get over your ex.
- Break the association with anchors. If you grow to associate two things together, it feels odd when you’re presented with just one of those two things. For example, a restaurant you and your ex always went to together will feel empty if you go without them. In order to truly move on, you need to face these associations without thinking of your ex. Instead of reliving the memories the two of you shared over these anchors, try not to think about your ex. If you must, think of their negative aspects. This way, instead of day-dreaming about your ex and missing them, you’ll begin to like them less and less. Next time you’re at that restaurant, think of the annoying way they used to chew, for example.
- Take a break. Instead of subjecting yourself to that same special song over and over, or nightly dinners at that restaurant, take a break. Many of us simply think about anything and everything related to an ex after a break-up. Don’t do this. Give yourself a break, or you’ll never get over your ex. Push thoughts of your ex out of your mind, and over time it will get easier. But time won’t help if you go on day-dreaming.
- Don’t indulge the heartache. It’s tempting to suppress feelings for your ex altogether after a break-up, but it doesn’t help. Neither does focusing on those feelings repeatedly. Don’t rub salt in your wounds, or wallow in how bad you feel. While experiencing these emotions is normal, if you continue to indulge them, you’re actually clinging to your ex instead of letting go. It embeds them in your heart, making it difficult to uproot them later.
- Feel the emotions, then release. It hurts, and you’re allowed to feel that. But if you lift the anchors, stop the day dreams, and try to move beyond the pain, things will improve. These emotions will fade away, like a movie seen long ago, if you don’t keep thinking about it. If you keep thinking about it, you feed it, prolonging its life. The best time to move on is right now. Your life is waiting!